Welcome to Logan's Web Page. It has been provided to keep people updated about Logan's progress. Logan was born on September, 19th 2001 at Vanderbilt University Hospital in Nashville TN. Logan was diagnosed with Congenital Diaphragmatic Hernia at my 22 week ultrasound, and was given 50% odds of survival. It was explained to me at the time that Logan's diaphragm had a large hole in it and had enabled all of his abdominal organs namely intestine and stomach to migrate to his chest and grow. These organs were suffocating his left lung and pushing his heart over to the right side of his body which was restricting growth of the right lung. There really was no way to know if he would have sufficient lung growth to sustain him in life until he was born and they could operate to remove the organs and put them back in place. I was told to go home and rest and wait for the next five months until he was born and they would know then if he would live. That started the longest,most rewarding and emotionally terrifying journey of my life. I am staring this journal three and a half years after Logan was born, so I have alot of updating to do. I hope no one finds it too confusing to follow. I just started the journal entries as if I were starting at the beginning and working my way up to the present. Thanks for taking time to read about my angel.
Logan's current medical diagnosis Hypo-plastic left lung syndrome Pulmonary Hypertension Reactive Airway Disease Chronic Lung Disease Sever GE reflux causing aspiration Obstructive Sleep Apnea
Total of 6 surgeries at the age of 4 Diaphragmatic hernia repair @ 36 hours Open heart surgery for sub-aortic stenosis @13 months First part of an undescended testicle repair @21 months Second part of that same surgery plus adenoidectomy @ 2 1/2 Nissenfunduplication for reflux @4 Logan had his 6th surgery on June 15th a thoracotomy to repair the wrap that had herniated up through his diaphragm
Logan had his seventh surgery on January 12th to repair his wrap again. On January 15th Logan went into a pulmonary hypertensive crisis and his heart was not able to pump blood into his body against the pressures in his lungs. He earned his wings at 10:23 am My heart will never be the same.
This is how we designed the front of Logan's mausoleum. Rest at peace our Angel until we see you again.
The Chosen Mothers
by Erma Bombeck
Most women become a mother by accident, some by choice and a few by habit. Did you ever wonder how mother's of children with life threatening illnesses are chosen? Somehow, I visualize God hovering over earth selecting His instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As He observes, He instructs His angels to make notes in a giant ledger.......
"Armstrong, Beth, son, patron saint Matthew" Forrest, Marjorie, daughter, patron saint Cecilia" Rutledge, Carrie, twins, patron saint Gerard."
Finally, He passes a name to an angel and says, "Give her a diabled child." The angel is curious. "Why this one, God? She's so happy."
"Exactly," smiles God, "Could I give a child with a disability to a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel."
"But, does she have patience?" asks the angel,
"I don't want her to have too much patience or she will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wears off, she will handle it."
"I watched her today," said God. "She has that feeling of self-independence that is so rare and necessary in a mother. You see, the child I'm going to give her has it's own world. She has to make it live in her world and that's not going to be easy."
"But Lord, I don't think she believes in you," said the angel. "No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just enough selfishness."
The angel gasps, "Selfishness? Is that a virtue?"
God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she'll never survive. Yes, here is the woman I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn't realize it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take anything her child does for granted. She will never consider a single step ordinary. I will permit her to see clearly the things I see....ignorance, cruelty, prejudice....and allow her to rise above them."
"And what about her patron saint" asks the angel, his pen poised in mid-air.
God smiles and says..."A mirror will suffice."
Celebrating Holland - I'm Home
I have been in Holland for a while now. It has become home. I have had time to catch my breath, to settle in and adjust, and to accept this different trip than I'd planned.
I reflect back on those years when I first landed in Holland and remember clearly my shock, my fear, my anger. In those first few years, I tried to get back to Italy as planned, but Holland was where I was to stay. Today, I can say how far I have come on this unexpected journey, how much I have learned about Holland. But it has been a journey of time.
I worked hard. I bought new guidebooks. I learned a new language, and I slowly found my way around in Holland. I met others whose plans had changed like mine and who could share my experience. Some of these fellow travelers had been in Holland longer than I and were seasoned guides, assisting me along the way. Many have encouraged me and have taught me to open my eyes to the wonder and gifts to behold in this new land. We supported one another, some have become very special friends, and I have discovered a community of caring. Holland isn't so bad.
I think that Holland is used to wayward travelers like me and has become a land of hospitality, reaching out to welcome, assist, and support newcomers. Over the years, I've wondered what life would have been like if I'd landed in Italy as planned. Would life have been easier? Would it have been as rewarding? Would I have learned the important lessons I benefit from today?
Sure, this journey has been challenging and at times I would (and still do) stomp my feet and cry out in frustration and protest. And, yes, Holland is slower paced and less flashy than Italy, but this, too, has been an unexpected gift. I have learned to slow down and look closer at things, with a new appreciation for the remarkable beauty of Holland. I have discovered that it doesn't matter where you land. What's more important is what you make of your journey and how you see and enjoy the very special things that Holland has to offer. I have come to love Holland and call it home.
Yes, I landed in a place I hadn't planned. Yet I am thankful, for this destination has been richer than I could have imagined!
The Reason for Our Hope
Thursday, September 17, 2009 3:19 PM CDT
Hello Friends, Sorry it has been so ling since I last updated Logan's site. As you can imagine I have been VERY busy, in the best possible way of course. The kids are perfect and I feel so incredably blessed to have been given three of the most beautiful babies in the world.
That is what brings me here today. Our sweet Logan's brithday is Saturday the 19th and we are having our annual balloon release to celebrate his life and all he did for all of us. We are once again expecting over 50 people this year and we hope for more. It is so important to us to come together with our friends and families to wish our sweet boy a happy birthday, which we know he is having. Logan would be turning eight years old Saturday. That is so very hard to believe. If anyone would like to come it will be held at 5:30 PM at our home. If you need directions email me at firstname.lastname@example.org There will be lots of food, fun and balloons to send up to Heaven for a Angel Birthday Boy.
To give you an update on the other two, Noah is a wild as a child can be. He runs on full speed all day then he sleeps like a rock. Thank goodness!!! This sounds aweful, but sometimes I say he acts like the Energizer Bunny on crack. He is pretty fast paced. AnnGracyn is amazing. Se sleeps all night most nights and takes cat naps during the day if Noah will leave her alone:) He LOVES her and he kisses her and pats her and she smiles at him. It is so sweet. One day I might be able to put pictures up here, but we all know I have issues doing that. I also have a huge issue of time. Both of them are napping for now and I have a million things to do in a short amount of time. I really wanted to tell everyone about the balloon release though, on a side note tomorrow is mine and Brandon's 10th wedding anniversary:) WOW!!!!!!!!! Take care a God Bless you all. Kyla Mother of an Angel in Heaven and two on Earth.
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